


Being Free and Alive

by AngelSweeney13



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:07:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1898406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelSweeney13/pseuds/AngelSweeney13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Total Bellarke with Bellamy nicer in the beginning than he was. Rated M for future chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Being Free and Alive

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Bellarke. Please go easy on me.

Clarke stepped off the drop ship into the light. She could not believe that after all this time she was finally on Earth. She had not expected it to be with a ship of a hundred criminal teenagers, but then again she never expected that she would be a criminal herself. Earth was everything she had ever dreamed of. It was bright, the air was fresh, and the colors were beautiful and vibrant. She had spent the last six months in solitary confinement and in that time she had sketched earth so many times, but her sketches did its beauty no justice.

 

Looking up she saw a mountain in the distance. It was Mount Weather. The mountain that they should have landed on. Being on that mountain had been an important part of their survival. She turned back toward the drop ship and headed in to search for the map.

 

But someone grabbed her arm with a tight grip. Wells.

 

"Get off me Wells. I want nothing to do with you" she spat as she tried to pull her arm free, but he was stronger than she was and had a lot more weight on him. She didn't care what he did she would never forgive him for turning in her dad and getting her thrown in prison. He had been her only friend on the Ark, but she did not need friends like him.

 

"No Clarke, you need to hear me out" his eyes pleading, but his grip was constricting her.

 

"You're hurting me. Let me go!" she cried out, tears coming to her eyes from the pain.

 

"Not until you listen" he said forcefully. Then another voice cut in and Clarke looked up to see a stranger with dark hair and eyes in a guard uniform.

 

"I think you had better listen to her and let go Jaha Jr" he placed a hand on Wells' shoulder and the handsome man had a voice of authority.

 

"This does not concern you.." Wells started, but before he could finish the man had Clarke free and Wells pinned up against the wall with his hands behind his back.

 

"That girl, wants nothing to do with you. Stay away from her or i will do worse to you" he threatened before releasing him. Wells backed away out of the drop ship quickly, shooting Clarke a look.

 

"Thank you. I'm Clarke Griffin" she held out her hand. He took it. "Bellamy Blake and it was my pleasure, Princess." Clarke groaned and Bellamy grinned. He had a gorgeous smile. "I hate being called the Princess of the Ark." Bellamy laughed. "You aren't the Princess of the Ark anymore, Clarke. You are the Princess of the Ground." He turned to go back out of the drop ship.

 

"Wait Bellamy, he turned, We are on the wrong mountain. We need to get to Mount Weather." she grabbed the map to show him. "Okay Clarke, lets set up some sort of camp and then tomorrow or the next day i will take you" he stated after reading the map.

 

"But Bellamy, we will starve without food and we need medicine."  
"I will go out hunting, while the others set up camp."  
"But how..." she began to tell him that there are no weapons and that they don't know if there are any animals, but he lifts his guard jacket to show her his gun and a large knife. He then left Clarke to work out her plans for Mount Weather, while he barked orders to the others who had begun to calm down from their screaming and running around to touch earths many wonders. It had only taken one speech about survival and freedom when they had first landed for him to win them over.

 

Bellamy

 

Bellamy was proud to allow his sister Octavia to be the first person to set foot on Earth in 97 years. He knew that when the Ark came down from space that most likely he would be killed, but for now he wanted to make the most of being free and alive. He knew that these kids needed a leader or else everyone would be dead in a week and he had made himself their leader, with a speech about being free and surviving.

 

He had watched Octavia run around and smell every plant and touch every tree with a smile on his face. His little sister finally got to live. Knowing that they needed to begin plans for the camp he headed into the drop ship.

 

He heard harsh voices fighting and as he came closer he saw a kid maybe 17 with his hand gripping a small beautiful girl as she fought to get free. He recognized the boy as Wells Jaha the son of the chancellor and that would mean that the girl was Clarke the daughter of the Doctor. Bellamy stepped in when he heard Clarke say that he was hurting her. The kid did have at least 60 pounds on the girl. 

 

""I think you had better listen to her and let go Jaha Jr" he placed his hand on the boys shoulder as a warning.

 

"This does not concern you.." Wells started, but before he could finish Bellamy had Clarke free and was holding Wells against the wall threatening him. "That girl, wants nothing to do with you. Stay away from her or i will do worse to you." He didn't know why, but he felt the need to protect her.

 

The girl stuck her hand out to him. "Thank you. I'm Clarke Griffin" He took it. "Bellamy Blake and it was my pleasure, Princess." He grinned when she groaned at the nickname."I hate being called the Princess of the Ark." He laughed. "You aren't the Princess of the Ark anymore, Clarke. You are the Princess of the Ground." Promising himself that he would call her Princess, whenever he could. He turned to go back out to begin building tents.

 

But she called him back. He looked in her blue eyes as she explained the problem of being far away from the resources they were meant to have for this. He assured her that all would be fine and that he would handle it, before heading out to fix the camp.

 

"Miller, Atom i need you two to begin making weapons out of the wreckage. Then prepare yourselves. We are going hunting." The boys nodded and headed out to follow their orders.

 

He turned to an Asian kid named Monty who he remembered from guarding the prisoners. "Monty, can you still make moonshine?" He could recall the boy mentioning making it on Agro with his best friend Jasper. Monty beckoned Jasper over and they both whispered for a second before agreeing.

 

"Alright, but it cant all be about the fun of booze. Clarke Griffin will need it for the future med bay" the boys agreed to make her some first and then ran toward the wreckage for parts.

 

Bellamy then beckoned to a few girls nearby ranging from 13 years old to 17 almost 18. "I need you girls to begin gathering any berries or nuts. If any of you were good at earth skills and remember which ones are poisonous keep a look out if not then ask around and find someone good at it. When there is a decent amount gathered two of you begin a large fire in the middle of the camp. Go now please." Most of the girls looked pleased to be given a job to do by the handsome leader, but his mind was not on any of those girls. He could only think of the blonde beauty from the drop ship.

 

He moved on giving orders for gathering water and making tents. He ordered that they sleep in twos and threes to keep from using up resources. Making special care to make sure to order them to make his tent rather large, that his sister had her own tent next to his and to make sure one near his was reserved for the medic. Bellamy knew better than to tell people who the medic was. They would attempt to hurt her for being high born or just for being a good person.

 

When he was finished giving out instructions he met with Miller and Atom to head out to hunt.


	2. Spacewalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spacewalker enters the picture

Clarke

Clarke walked out of the drop ship a few hours later with her map in hand and a plan reeling through her head. She stopped short in shock when she saw what the rest of the hundred had accomplished and what they were still doing. Some were drapping parachutes into sleeping areas, others were gathering berries and nuts in the shirts and bringing them to a makeshift container. A piece of the drop ship that mildly resembled a small pool was filled with clean water. 

The boy from the ship, Finn Collins, or spacewalker as Clarke called him in her head, had come over and tried to make conversation with her. Asking about here map, but she shrugged him off as she saw Bellamy's hunting group had returned. The two boys behind him held hogs over their shoulders, while Bellamy had a rather large panther draped across his shoulders like it weighed nothing. Bellamy was being praised by everyone, but his eyes fell on her. She was shocked by the intensity of his gaze.

She smiled and folded up her map putting it in her pocket. Reminding herself to tell Bellamy about it later. Instead she went to help some of the other girls, including Bellamy's sister Octavia, with the large fire they had started.

Clarke liked Octavia she was fun and sweet and she told a ton of funny stories about her brother. While she laughed with Octavia, she kept an eye on Bellamy from across the camp.The men in Bellamy's group had begun skinning the animals and preparing the meat to be cooked. 

Later,when she sat alone in front of the fire listening to many of the others joke and laugh, Bellamy walked up to her and sat down next to her offering her some meat. She smiled and accepted.

"I had them set up a tent for you, Princess. Its not far from my tent." he smiled down at her.

"You didn't have to Bellamy .." she started to tell him that she didn't need him to give her things and that it would only make people hate her, but he cut her off.

"Princess, you have medical training with your mom don't you? You want to go to Mount Weather because of food and medicine?"he asked, already anticipating her answer. She only nodded. "See Princess, we need you. More than we need most of these others. You are important" Bellamy told her gently.

"Okay Bellamy, I can be a medic, but I have only watched for some of the major things."  
"That's better than nothing, Clarke. Please just do your best with anything that comes your way and i will do my best to keep everyone from needed medical attention" he begged with his eyes as he said it.

"Fine, but i want to train someone to help me, he nodded in agreement, And Bellamy i want to train Octavia."

He looked shocked. But nodded dumbly. She knew what she was doing Octavia was kind and gentle and would make a great nurse. It was also a way to keep Clarke from getting into any trouble with how she felt when the Rebel leader looked at her. 

The next few days had been stressful for Clarke. She had gone with a small group to try and get to Mount Weather, but Jasper had been speared and Octavia had been attacked by a river monster. She had been able to save them. Octavia's wound wasn't nearly as bad as Jaspers, But she was grateful that they had both lived. She was currently laying in her tent on the bed that Bellamy had made for her out of soft skins. She knew that he had also made one for himself and another for Octavia, but it still felt weird to lay on something so wonderfully comfortable and soft that was made for her by someone else. She wanted to stay here all day and contemplate why he had made it, but she couldn't lay here forever sooner or later someone would come looking for her and she knew it would be Bellamy, Octavia or Spacewalker. Spacewalker had come on the trip to the mountain with her, Octavia, Jasper and Monty. She had insisted that Bellamy stay and run camp, but ever since Spacewalker had been following her around trying to charm her and she wasn't having any of it.

She pulled on her clothes and headed out to breakfast. Most of the hundred were up. They had recently made a smoke house to store and preserve their meats and Monty's still was set up on the other side of the camp. It was lucky that he had begun to make moonshine because it was a sterilizer and had helped her save Jasper. She knew that him making it for her had been Bellamy's way of helping her with medic.

Sitting on one of the logs in front of the fire, she ate some berries she had grabbed from a store bin. She sat back and admired the work that had been put into putting up a wall around them and the grounders. There wasn't much left to do besides put up the large door made from scraps of the wreckage. The men and some of the older girls had finished most of it while she was in and out of surgery and med bay with Jasper. 

Looking toward the wall entrance she noticed Bellamy positioned on guard, giving orders to some of the others in his security team. They were beginning to create a place that seemed like it could be a home and Clarke wanted nothing more than to admire Bellamy from afar in their new home. 

All of a sudden, she was shaken from any thoughts of Bellamy by Finn sitting next to her far to close for her liking. 

 

Bellamy

Bellamy was absorbed in Clarke. He had been ever since he met her. Not that he would really tell anyone and if any one had noticed that he treated her differently than the other girls, he put the fear of god in them and they were smart enough to drop it. 

He loved how strong she was and how she had become the light of the camp. She cared about everyone. She even cared about him, which he couldn't believe. He didn't think he was a good man, but she did. He couldn't get the thought of his sister telling him that Clarke had asked about him and the girls who followed him, out of his head. If only he could tell her none were as beautiful as she was. Yes, he did have relations with a lot of girls, but it wasn't because he wanted any of them. They were there to fill the void that he knew only Clarke could fill. He had cut back on girls making them leave immediately after and having them sneak back, only after threatening them to keep them quiet.

 

He was working the wall when he looked up and saw that Spacewalker had his hand on Clarke's leg and was trying to coax her into something. He felt angry, every time he saw Finn Fucking Collins trying to charm Princess' pants off.

"Miller, he called to his second in command, cover for me for a few minutes I have to discuss a supply trip with the Doc" 

Miller nodded and just gave him a knowing look, which Bellamy ignored. 

Spacewalker was too close to her and she looked uncomfortable. As he walked up he heard Finn say, "Come on Princess, come for a walk with me. I will make it worth it" and Clarke's response just before he spoke from behind them was " You CAN NOT call me Princess." he smiled for a second. He was the only one who could call her princess.

"Hey Princess. I need you in the drop ship" his tone was authoritative but kind. The look he gave to Finn however was full of hate and he was practically begging Finn to try and stop her so he could punch him. 

Clarke lit up and jumped to her feet. "Of course, Bell. Let's go." she didnt even look back at Finn she just walked beside him and Bellamy saw Spacewalkers fists curl and a look a hatred and defeat was on his face.


	3. Octavia Sees All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia notices things others don't.

They entered the drop ship and he turned to her and smiled.   
"Sorry to interrupt, Princess, but we have some things to work out and i have some things for you" 

 

"You didn't interrupt Bell, you saved me. He's been trying to charm me for a while now. Not that it would work"she said with a sigh. The man in front of her cared and she knew that they had planned a meeting around lunch time, but he had saved her by moving the meeting.

 

"We need to start prepping for winter. I have engineers working on making housing structures, like like long houses. One is going to be big and one will be smaller. The smaller one is for you, me, Octavia and my security people. The other one will be split into sections with girls, boys and couples. The second smokehouse is almost done and i have more people out hunting and gathering. We need to have a trip where we stock up on all of the plants you need in as much bulk as we can get. I also found a bunker on one of the maps, that we can go check for supplies, me and you."

 

"When are we leaving?" She asked taking her knife off a shelf and putting it in her belt. She knew that everything he had said was very important and that they really did need to step it up for winter, but the thought of her sleeping under the same roof as him made her quiver. 

 

"As soon as you're ready we can leave to gather you plants. I figured we could leave for the bunker tomorrow at first light. That way we have all day there. I want you to have this," he handed her a bundle,"i made one of my skins into a warmer blanket for you and i found these art supplies in a small bunker i found on a patrol." he was nervous. He had never given a girl a gift before, but all of a sudden she smiled and threw her arms around his neck. He was shocked, but after a second he pulled her close. Holding on to her as if everything depended on it and to him it did. 

 

"Thank you, Bell" she whispered in his ear, which had to be difficult for her since he was at least a foot taller than her, and then she kissed him on his cheek. "I will put these in my tent, grab my stuff and meet you by the gate in 10."

 

He stood their shocked. His hand went up to touch his cheek. He didn't even notice that Octavia had walked in while he stood their in a stupor.

 

"Hey Bell. Earth to Bell." she was waving her hand in front of his face when he snapped out of it. 

 

"What do you need,O" He said with a smile. The smile shocked her, normally he was harsh in the morning, only speaking to her in grumbles or orders. 

 

"I was just coming to see if you wanted us to make hog or panther for lunch, But now i want to know what happened with Clarke. Since she just left and you look happy" Octavia said bluntly. She never did have a way with her words.

 

"O, I am fine. I just have to go out on a medicine gathering trip with Clarke today and nothing happened i just saved her from Spacewalker is all." Octavia could tell he was hiding something.

 

"Okay then, can i come on the trip? I need to learn what the flowers look like and what they are good for" For some reason Octavia knew he would object and he did.

 

"NO. I mean no O. I don't think it is good for you to be out with the grounders. I will have Clarke teach you when its safer" Octavia nodded, but eyed him suspiciously.

 

 

 

Bellamy grabbed his pack from his tent and ran to the front of the camp so he wouldn't be late to meet Clarke. He was thinking about the kiss on his cheek the whole time. Who knew that a small gift like that could get so far. Bellamy knew that he was getting very soft when it came to his Princess. 

 

He looked up and saw that Clarke had exited her tent and was walking toward him with a smile on her face, But just as she reached him so did Spacewalker.  
"What do you want Spacewalker?" Bellamy barked. "Where are you going?"Finn directed his question at Clarke which made Bellamy's fists tighten and his face harden.

 

"That is none of your damn business, Finn. Now leave me alone." She responded heatedly, just before she grabbed Bellamy's hand and dragged him through the gate.

 

 

Clarke

They walked in silence for a while before Clarke pulled out her sketch book and pencils, quickly sketching a perfect replica of the plant in front of her describing it and labeling it.  
She knew that Bellamy would not want Octavia going outside the wall to learn so she would keep the sketch book full.

 

They walked until she had collected every plant, but one she knew helped with cramps, but it seemed to want to elude her on this trip. As they turned to head back to their make shift camp Bellamy tugged her to the ground and put his finger to his lips.

 

She only nodded as he watched the treeline with his gun drawn. There was rustling, not far to their left in the direction they had come. When all of a sudden Octavia and Finn burst through the brush.

 

"I told you Finn, Clarke is safe out here with my brother. Why did you make me lead you out here again?" Octavia looked disgruntled like she had been forced to do something she really did not want to do and Bellamy looked livid besides Clarke. Clarke reached out to touch his arm to calm him, but he stood abruptly yelling as he did.

 

"SPACEWALKER! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY SISTER INTO THE WOODS. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN HURT OUT HERE AND I DON'T TRUST YOU TO PROTECT HER. She stays at camp and you stay away from her and Clarke"  
Bellamy said the last portion in a deadly serious tone right in Finn's face.

 

During the fight, Clarke had beckoned Octavia to stand besides her so she wouldn't be hurt if the yelling ended physically.

 

Octavia looked physically distraught for having brought Finn and it causing a fight.  
Clarke put an arm around the younger girl and smoothed her hair in a soothing way. "Don't worry O, it's not your fault. Your brother just loves you" Clarke whispered to her as the men continued to yell at one another.

 

She couldn't help, but let her mind wonder until she was thinking about how Bellamy's arms tensed and rippled when he was angry. When suddenly, all eyes were on her and she had no idea what they had asked her.

 

She looked at Bellamy first, his eyes were angry, but they softened when she looked up at him. He was looking for her to respond.

 

"Huh...I.., She started when Finn suddenly took a step closer and cut her off.

 

"Tell him Princess, Tell him that you want to come with me to the lake i told you about. That you agreed you wanted to see." he looked so sure that she would agree and she just was confused and angry. The stupid Spacewalker continued to call her Princess even though that was Bellamy's nickname for her. The name sounded so wrong coming out of Finns mouth.

 

"DO NOT CALL ME PRINCESS FINN, I don't know what damn lake you are talking about, but i don't care about it right now. Right now i am getting medical supplies with Bellamy. Maybe he will take me there after." Her eyes were hard and cold when directed at the reckless boy. But one glance at Bellamy made her stand stronger, he was relaxing with every word she said.

 

He looked triumphant and Finn looked like he had been punched.

 

"But.. He calls you Princess. Hell everyone does and you agreed earlier."His eyes portrayed utter shock and dismay. He had clearly thought he had charmed her into wanting him.

 

"Bellamy is allowed to do whatever the hell her wants and did you think maybe i wasn't listening to you earlier when you asked?" her tone was accusatory and it shot him down. He had nothing else to say and just turned and walked away.

 

"Sorry about that Princess. I didn't mean to bring you into it." Bellamy said smiling sweetly at her and she knew that he meant it. The girls walked on either side of him in silence. Octavia grinning like a cheshire cat because she saw what the two walking next to her couldn't see yet.


	4. Save Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mature content.

Bellamy

Bellamy couldn't believe that Spacewalker had followed them, let along taking his sister. And how he thought that he would let anything happen to Clarke. 

 

She was the Princess and he was the Rebel leader. He needed her. More than he would care to admit. 

 

But hearing her say that he was the only one that could call her Princess had made his day and the fact that he had both girls with him for the walk back only made it more fun.

 

"Octavia, you need to be careful who you trust. Some of these men are rapist and murderers" he carefully warned his sister pulling her into a hug. He knew that Finn was only on the ground for stealing oxygen, but that didn't mean that others couldn't hurt her. 

 

They spent the rest of the walk with Clarke showing Octavia her drawings and Bellamy listening to her speak with such knowledge and wisdom. He was awed by her.

 

Once back to camp, the three headed to eat some smoked hog that was served to them by a red head who batted her lashes at Bellamy ignoring the two girls. Bellamy ignored the girl and saw a flush on Clarke's face when he noticed she had watched the exchange. He assumed it was nothing but the heat from the fire and the effects of the long walk in the sun.

 

"Thank you for today, Bell"Clarke whispered before kissing his cheek and heading into her tent which was besides his, while Octavia was on his other side. He smiled and whispered "Goodnight Princess" before heading into his own tent. Kicking the girl sprawled across his bed out before he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his shirt to prepare for bed.

 

Clarke

Clarke sat on the edge of her bed thinking for a long time before she began to prep herself for sleep. All she could think about was how angry Bellamy had gotten at the prospect of her possibly being hurt while in his protection. She could see his brilliant smile at her words about him doing anything he wanted. He was the Rebel leader of the 100, but he had also become the person she could turn to besides Octavia, who had become Clarke's best friend here.

 

She also couldn't help thinking about the red head , Monroe, who had stared at him flirting when they got their meal. She couldn't believe how angry it had made her. She wanted to punch the girl and she barely knew her. 

 

She resigned herself to think about it tomorrow and stripped down to just her tank and underwear before drifting of to sleep.

 

She was abruptly woken a few hours later to a large had on her mouth a knife against her throat and a face dangerously close to her breasts. 

 

Her eyes widened in terror as he leered at her. She didn't know why he was here.

 

"Now, now Princess. I need to take your skinny high born Phoenix ass down a few pegs. You think you are so entitled and that we should all just listen to the things you advise Bellamy to do, but i think you should be doing the manual work. How about we have you clean up after everyone and hunt every day?" he was whispering threateningly in her ear, and tears began to fall down her cheeks. She recognized him as John Murphy, but she thought he was one of Bellamy's hunters, not someone who would ever attack her like this.

"Aw Princess don't cry. There will be plenty of time to do that when i am stripping you of your precious virtue. Don't even make a sound or i will slit your throat for Bellamy to find in the morning.You know Princess, even if i hadn't been asked to do this to you, i would have ended up doing it to you anyway." he began to strip off his clothes and then  
ripped her panties in half in one go. She was sobbing by this time, unsure of what to do trying to struggle against him, but he just pressed the knife harder against her and pulled down her shirt taunting her by raking his eyes over every inch of her body. His voice eating at her soul with the way he kept saying princess sounding so wrong in her ears.

 

His free had was violating her skin grabbing her flesh too hard and creating bruises on her breasts and hips. He used his free hand to grab her wrists that had been beating on his chest. She was now fully pinned and had no hope of getting free. He tortured her with cuts along her breasts and thighs when she moved too much for his liking, but she still struggled against the monster in her bed.She hardened her face, so that he wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing her pain. She had wanted to lose her virginity to someone who loved her that she loved in return, but each passing minute took that from her.

Just as he was getting ready to rip every shred of her purity from her, Clarke took the chance and called out to the only person she knew could protect her. "BELLAMY" It came out more of a hoarse strangled cry, but she had to hope that he would come and save her. 

Bellamy

Bellamy had been dreaming of an angel, when he bolted awake from someone screaming out his name. He was on his feet in seconds, not bothering to dress himself past his pants. It was Clarke's voice he had heard. Her pain. He was in her tent in seconds and what he saw enraged him more than he had every felt in his life.

He saw red and grabbed Murphy by his hair and threw him out of the tent. He could hear Clarke sobbing as he punched him repeatedly. He could hear the crowd forming around him, but he didn't stop until his hand was bloody and Octavia was pulling him off.

"This monster just tried to raped Clarke. Clarke, who takes care of every one of you when you act like idiots and cut yourself or break something. Clarke who cares about the wellbeing of every single on of you. He forced him self on her in her sleep and hurt her. You,John Murphy are banished and if i ever see you again, i will kill you. If anyone else decides to have sex with a girl without her permission you to will be banished. If anyone wants to meet his fate of death by grounder or acid fog. Be my guest. Now get him out of my camp" Bellamy was angry, he addressed the entire camp, after he had sent his sister in to be with Clarke. 

Jasper who was closest to where Bellamy stood kicked Murphy hard in the face breaking his nose with a sickening crunch.

Then a voice in the crowd caused Bellamy to want to see red once more. "What if the Princess wanted it?" Bellamy could recognize the voice of Finn Collins before he saw his smirking face. In the back of his mind he knew that Finn was behind this. That he had wanted Clarke and had sent an attack dog to do the dirty work when he didn't get her.

Finn had walked close to Bellamy who had his back turned and was trying to breathe, but instead turned around and broke Finn's nose in one punch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for making a rape scene. if anyone wants to let me know how they like it i just started a tumblr for this. BellamyLovesClarkeALways.tumblr.com. thank you <3


	5. Not a Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Convincing Bellamy he's not a monster

Bellamy walked into Clarke's tent where he saw his Princess sobbing into Octavia's lap. His sister was rubbing her hair and soothing her with a lullaby their mother used to sing when she was little. He couldn't believe that Clarke, the only person besides Octavia, that he believed was full of so much light that it hurt him to be damaged, was in so much pain. She was a golden angel, but as he looked at her tent he knew that his angel would be scarred. He panties were shredded and to the side of the bed, her shirt was torn in places and she had bruises forming and there were shallow cuts on her porcelain skin everywhere that the bastard had touched her.

 

He walked to the girls and picked up the crying girl, motioning for his sister to follow. He led both girls into his tent and he sat between them as they slept . He guarded the two most precious people to him and when Clarke began to cry in her sleep not long after they had entered his tent he pulled her up into his arms and held her until she was calm again.

 

For the next week Clarke did not leave the tent and if she was needed in the med bay she did not leave Bellamy's side. She would stand as far away from the patient as possible, but where she could direct Octavia on how to handle the situation. She jumped at the littlest sound and was constantly looking around to see if someone was going to hurt her.

 

Bellamy refused to leave camp for long periods of time, so he sent his most trusted guards Miller, Atom, and Jasper to go and search the bunker that wasn't far from camp. He was afraid that if he left someone would hurt his sister or Clarke and the thought alone was enough to cripple him. He blamed himself for not being able to stop that monster before he had done harm to Clarke. Her bruises on her face and chest were reminders that he was not good enough to save her before Murphy scarred her. His beautiful Princess was in pain and he could see it. His only saving grace was that he had stopped the man from stealing her virginity.

 

At night he slept between his girls and knife was at the front of his makeshift bed, so that in the event of any attack he would protect them. Clarke had nightmares almost every night and more often than night he or Octavia,if he was dealing with one of the many fights or disagreements that a leader had to deal with, had to hold her and sing to her or assure her that she was safe. 

 

He promised himself, that no one would hurt her ever again. Not if he could save her. She was the golden angel that was so full of light when he had first met her, but now he just needed to bring her back into her own light.

 

Clarke

She was drowning in the darkness that follows being raped. She could feel the way he touched her in her sleep and the thoughts of what could have happened if not for Bellamy plagued her.

After some time she began to be able to be around people again. It started with Jasper and Monty, sometimes Wells since they had gotten it out in the open that he had taken the blame for her mother getting her father killed, but by the end of the second week since the attack she resembled Clarke again. From an outsider she was fine, but Bellamy and Octavia knew that she was still haunted. She made it her mission to hide it from the others.

 

A drop ship had fallen and Raven Reyes an engineer had made it to the ground. Clarke had confronted Bellamy holding the radio from the small pod while sitting looking like he was torn between being a good man and choosing a dark path. In the beginning he had used intimidation to get his power, but Clarke had a feeling it could have been worse if they had been on opposite sides in the beginning. 

 

"Bell, why do you have the radio. The girl Raven is going crazy about it?" Clarke didn't want to push, but she knew it was something important to have Bellamy so worried. He knew how to make the tough calls when she didn't. 

 

"Clarke.... I did something.Something to get on the drop ship.Something that they are going to kill me for when they get to the ground" he looked solemn. Like he had already decided his fate and it was that look that pained Clarke. The look that showed her he had given up and that he thought he was a monster.

 

"Bell. Whatever it is we will get through it. You aren't a monster. We need you. I need you" Clarke did her best to soothe him, knowing that he had done this many times for her in the past few weeks. 

 

"Clarke, i shot the Chancellor"

 

His words hung in the air. She was stunned.

 

"Did you kill him or did you just shoot him Bellamy. Did you check to see if he was alive?" All he could do was shake his head at her words and her mind was spinning.

 

"Then he could be alive and we will find out when he contact the Ark. You will be pardoned like the rest of us Bellamy. You deserve it and i will get it for you" Clarke was determined and forceful with her words. She ended her statement by wrapping her hand around his and taking the radio with the other. They sat in silence for a while before they returned to their duties as leaders. Clarke bringing the radio to Raven who happened to be Spacewalkers girlfriend and Bellamy to take guard.

 

Bellamy

 

His Princess, had told him the one thing he needed to hear but didn't realize it. That he was not a monster and that he might not have killed the Chancellor. He let out a breathe that he didn't know he had been holding since they had landed. Since the first day when he had convinced every one to take off the bracelets all at one like a liberation. Only a few who hadn't been loyal to him yet still wore them. Clarke being one of them. 

But all he needed right them was what she had given him. Her faith and her words.

"You aren't a monster."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post my fifth chapter a little earlier than planned because of a review begging for more on my ff. so here it is i will write more soon.


End file.
